On the TUNNEYSIDE of Sports August 17, 2015 # 554 Up next… Turn trials into triumph!
After further review…As a cultural phenomenon, self-esteem is widely perceived to have gotten a running start in Western societies around the time that California Assemblyman John Vasconcellos created his “Task Force on Self-Esteem” some three decades ago. Actually we can travel back as far as William James and his “Will to Believe” published in the late 1890’s, to observe the reach of this concept. It clearly has played a long and significant role in our sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
Vasconcellos, who died in May, 2014, believed that low self-esteem was the root of crime, drug addiction and other problems associated with the growth of young people. While there is no factual basis that his belief was the case, the TunneySide supports youth organizations designed to develop self-worth in young people.
Can sports and youth clubs really help develop that highly sought-after characteristic? The belief here is that the opportunity to develop one’s own values is enhanced when youths are surrounded by positive-thinking people. But the belief in oneself must come from within; outside help is ancillary to that process.
A recent HBO Real Sports program, hosted by Bryant Gumbel, focused on the widespread practice of rewarding trophies to everyone on the T*E*A*M, win or lose. In today’s junior league sports, teams and leagues organized by parents are handing out trophies to players whose strikeouts and errors far outnumber their gems on the field; they’re being rewarded for the “excellence” of simply showing up. Parents reason thusly: “We don’t want to damage a player’s self-esteem.”
Now hold on just a minute. Lifelong experiences teach us the real world doesn’t work that way. There is nothing wrong with losing! Life is a “trial and error” endeavor. Losing is not “failing” (that word sounds too final); losing is a setback, not an ending. If a player doesn’t earn a trophy given to others whose will and execution were better that day, it’s not “crushing a dream.” Further experience and helpful guidance are called for, and can help make up the shortfall.
Building self- confidence, and thus self-esteem, involves convincing an individual that losing and setbacks are part of the growth process. Sure, one has the right to feel disappointment; but it shouldn’t be equated with discouragement. Trying again needs to follow disappointment; that’s where improvement can be found. In any game, as in real life-situations, losing can strengthen one’s resolve. It’s called resilience!
Will you maintain the will to believe in yourself?
To contact Jim go to www.jim@jimtunney.com or email him jim@jimtunney.com.
For more about sports and how they relate to life’s issues be sure to read Jim’s 3 books: (“It’s the Will, Not the Skill,” “101 Best of TunneySide of Sports,” and “Impartial Judgment”) now offered at the reduced price of $40. – a $20 discount. Please email him at the above address. Thank You!
