On the TUNNEYSIDE of SPORTS October 5, 2015 #561
Up next…Modeling Behavior
After further review…Bullying: coercion by superior strength or intimidation. It’s an ugly definition, no matter how you phrase it, and this domination of the weaker by the stronger has been around far too long. This topic is a matter of great concern in current society; parents and guardians themselves are hyper-aware of its negative effects and protective of their children. But parents themselves can fall prey to this deep-seated behavior, slipping into that coercive mode to get their own children to obey. Is it necessary? Oftentimes, it’s not even recognized for what it is.
In our sports world many coaches, regrettably, resort to such methods, all in the name of motivation. Some coaches yell, scream, cuss, and use derogatory names, thinking that their verbal abuse will bring intensity to their T*E*A*M. Sports reflect the culture in that regard; coaches who resort to intimidation more than likely were hollered at when they played. And parents quite often raise their children according to the examples set during their own upbringing. The concern is that some previously accepted methods may not be appropriate today.
Motivation is not a simple formula, many approaches are successful. But the most lasting and effective methods involve positive reinforcement. In my book, “It’s the Will, Not the Skill” we discuss how former NFL head coach Herm Edwards (New York Jets 2001-2005 and Kansas Chiefs 2006-2009) now an analyst at ESPN, always told his T*E*A*M they were “born winners” and “are winners now,” not that they will be, but now! Players must think of themselves as winners!
No one wins every time or at everything. Losses – or setbacks if you will, – are all part of being a winner. As many have said, it’s not getting knocked down (i.e. a setback) that counts, it’s the will to get back up that matters. It is interesting to note that when one is winning and one’s confidence is stout, the necessity of encouragement diminishes. However, having said that, the coach is needed to ensure that complacency does not occur.
Building a culture of self-confidence is not easy, but the persistence of the mentor, be it coach, parent, or teacher, is paramount. Young people model behavior. Examples set by those in a leadership position are repeated for better or worse. Do we have a duty to strive for the “better” example? You bet we do!
Will you adopt the “Edwards Code” of modeling a positive, winning attitude?
To contact Jim go to www.jimtunney.com or email him jim@jimtunney.com.
For more about sports and how they relate to life’s issues, read Jim’s 3 books: (It’s the Will, Not the Skill,” “101 Best of TunneySide of Sports,” and “Impartial Judgment”) now offered at the reduced price of $40 – a $20 discount. Contact him via email. Thank You!
